Funniest Tweets to Post Twitter Bios

For a wild fun with your friends you may need to tweet these funny Twitter quotes on your BIOS. The following bios are the ever best valid statements that are taken from real infamous people.

Funny twitter bios

Really funny tweets on twitter!

1. Well you know you've watched fear factor for way too many years, when watching them eat cow eyes actually makes you think of food and get hungry.

2. When your ex tells you that you will never find someone like them again.. UM MM that's the point!

3. What is the problem with crushes? Someone always gets crushed.

4. That awkward moment when you're wiping your face with a clean towel after a good shower yet even though the towel is clean you're wondering if someone else used the part you're using on your face to wipe their unmentionables.

5. I change my profile photo on the Facebook like I change my mood. Only when it s absolutely necessary...

6. I need a "kick buddy", someone I can kick across the back when my girlfriend make me upset. Is there any unpaid assistant her?

7. That awkward moment when you delete a Twitter friend because they are tweeting over and over they are getting rid of and or leaving Facebook, only to discover through other Facebook friends, they're still on Facebook.

8. I don't see anything wrong with being in love with Will Ferrell, Twitter and his tweets,

9. It's like as soon as I open a browser I immediately type in Facebook even if that isn't where I was going. It’s pretty bad.

10. Does anyone else suddenly feel insanely insecure when someone incredibly attractive looks at you in the eye?  Hopefully, I'm not the only one.

11. That awkward moment when you have to walk past your ex like everyday!

12. Lying is fun. That's why I'm an actor.

13. That awkward moment when a girl with the most amazing legs sits opposite you on the couch and you are trying your absolute best to complete your assignment about Women Rights!

14. It's impressive peripheral vision to even notice stop signs exist when you never stop texting.

15. Being a human is getting way too complicated. It’s time to be a unicorn! I'm so hyped!  So, don't kill my vibe.

16. Twitter is for people like me who likes to be social but don't want your parents to see how weird you really are.

17. That awkward moment when you're going with your parents and then they both start to reminisce about their youth days and then suddenly they start singing & dancing!

18. That awkward moment when you miss someone and suddenly you receive a text from them.

19. I really try hard to partake in literally zero discussion of stupid celebrity stuff, but Will Ferrell you are awesome.

20. I love how you always give people advice but you never take your own advice.

21. If Justin Bieber is that important to you, then girl you seriously have your priorities mixed up. You'll never meet him so why obsess over him.

22. Dose anyone else like someone's status just to make it an even number and keep scrolling if it's already even? Or am I the only weirdo that does that? But to top it all off my favorite number is an odd number makes no sense!

23. That awkward moment when you Skype your 80 year old uncle by surprise and he's half naked.

24. On twitter I can say how I feel and not be judged because I have awesome followers that are following beautiful girls.

25. The world needs fewer text messages and more love letters. And that's why I'm going to be single on Valentine's Day.

26. That awkward moment when you go to the market, shop a lot and realize you haven't got your card to pay for anything!

27. When you're waiting in front of the girls comfort room with your friends, and suddenly the door opens... And it was a guy who was using it.

28. Sometimes (read: all the time) I forget that stop signs aren't just suggestions. And I feel like red lights are more like yield signs...stopping is so annoying.

29. My nominations for the next president of the United States are in. Here they are in no particular order: Will Ferrell (Because his portrayal in Elf), Bill Murray (because he was Peter Venkman in Ghost busters) and Gerard Butler (not because of his portrayal in 300 but because he was the Phantom of the Opera).

30. When you find people in this world that embrace you or weird with you, pick them up, twirl them around and stuff marshmallows in their mouth!

31. Learn how to accept how people judge you but never let it sink in your mind especially when you know it's not true because silence is the really best way you can give to nonsense issue.