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Cute Girly Bio Ideas for Twitter and Instagram

Social networks give a wow to your name and cute bios ideas for girls on Instagram, Tumblr and Twitter boost up your fame and followers in no time. Post these funny quotes on your bios and become a comedy king.

Posting cute, clever and creative bios on Twitter and Instagram is a fun idea but now it’s become a competition as well. Girls like to post funny jokes about witty guys on their profile bios and Facebook statuses and clever guys also don’t miss any chance and continuously post girly jokes on their profiles pages.

Enjoy my big list of cute bios for instagram and Twitter!

  1. It is a sad truth when you become so boring and decided that the best thing to do this Saturday night is to stay home and read about books
  1. Men should not be allowed at shopping malls. They should drop off women and come back the next day to pick them up.
  1. I just don't understand why everyone is upset over something they can't control.
  1. Ladies if you are wearing a skirt please close your legs. Thank you I will appreciate it immensely.
  1. Those who loathe beautiful girls on Instagram are those who, usually, haven't followed them. Those who have followed them, understand them and still loathe them have finally understood what a threat they pose to Instagram.
  1. I never knew how much clothing I had...until I waited 3 weeks to wash it all. 5 hours later, 2 loads were still left.
  1. To whoever just prank called me, the 90's called, they want their idea of a good time back.
  1. If you've got nothing nice to say, then don't say ANYTHING. Speaking ill of the dead, is pure cruel. Parents teach you stuff like this when you’re five, so grow up and shut up!
  1. Women can endure pain more than men; a good example is waiting for a parking spot at the mall.
  1. Kim Kardashian is going to divorce again and I can't kill time to hear how it's the blunder of Republicans.
  1. I'm amazed the American government has not yet begun to accuse us a fresh air tax.
  1. I wonder how much trash China has created. They should just ban plastic in China. From now on everything has to be made out of bamboo.
  1. The cheapest date you will ever meet, give him an apple, he'll let you love with him but beware... if you give him an orange... your name will go to the death note.
  1. Dear managers, it's very hard to tell you I won't be at work if you don't answer your phones.
  1. Asian girls drink more Starbucks and boba than the average man. This Starbucks ever had boba; I think Asian women heads will explode someday.
  1. Dear everyone, if you're returning a gift to a store and you have zero proof of purchase for something you spent zero money on; you have no right to yell at us because you aren't getting full cash refund.
  1. I disabled my Facebook yesterday. I lasted a few hours. I'm pretty proud of myself.
  1. My boyfriend just accused me of spoiling a dog. I'm insulted that anyone thinks I would ever spoil an animal... I'm simply making sure he has the appropriate amount of undivided attention and toys.
  1. Thank you, Nicki Minaj, now we can all remember the EXACT date and time that music died.
  1. The princess got married and the bad guy got killed.... anyone else feel like we're suddenly living in a Disney movie?
  1. Do you hear about Reebok Easy Tone pants and shirts? They're designed to tone key muscles. Want to know how? They're workout clothes. You work out with them.
  1. Why is finding a place to live so damn hard.......if I read no smoking 420 friendly one more time I am going to start reporting their...
  1. Sometimes, even saving the world seems less daunting than the prospect of taking your kid to Wal-Mart.
  1. The world of social media changes so fast looks like I've got a lot of research to do just to make sure my Facebook status stays up to date!
  1. I find it sad that all of the premium coffee shops are always closed by midnight, and don't open again until 5am or later. Between 12-5am is precisely when I need strong coffee the most!
  1. There are 3 types of people in this world...those who go to sleep late, those who go to sleep early, and then parents...who just sleep whenever they can.
  1. You know you're a parent when your child falls asleep during a bedtime story, & you realize you have to keep reading so you can find out how it ends.
  1. I don't know about you, but seeing that face staring up at me would be enough to wake me up, even if I didn't drink the coffee.
  1. Someone asked me once if I wanted to be a comedian...I told them no, because being professionally ridiculous is a serious business.
  1. Parents & Ninjas are very similar. Both have to use stealth to move undetected thru the home, be on constant alert for long periods without rest, and rise to meet any challenge using whatever's on hand.   However, Ninjas often cheat by using swords.
  1. Marriage life lesson for the week: Even if your wife doesn't always have the right answer, somehow she is still never wrong.
  1. Nothing is cuter than a shy guy trying to tell his girl, in his nervousness that he loves her a lot
  1. Just for you! I want to give you 2 CDs for $10 and give you one free or I want to just give you 3 CDs for $10. Choose the one that is most valuable to you.
  1. I saw Fruitvale station. It was well done. It reminded me of the movie The Wrestler. I don't get why in real life people make sudden moves when there's a gun, that's the last thing you want to do. I wonder if he would have reacted the same way if his friends weren't there.
  1. I saw a girl with a bunch of shopping bags on Instagram pic. In Vegas, I said that must have been over 1 grand. She said the signal purse alone cost 5 grand. That could be half a year's rent right there. Her purse is half a year of my life and my life is worth to sell bags.
  1. The point of social media is to say the most ridiculous things ever and see if anyone notices or agrees.
  1. There is a lost magic with men who actually approach and talk to women in public.
  1. Communicating through Facebook or social media with no tone can only cause drama.
  1. If I am too much on your newsfeed, just block or hide and click on the page directly if curious. No harm, no foul.
  1. When someone calls you cute, they like your face. Hot, they like your body. Beautiful, they like you.
  1. Question: What is not a good thing to do before going out?  Answer: Dropping a plastic box on your face and giving yourself a fat lip.
  1. If your wife buys something called a "pillow sham", do NOT try to actually use it as a pillow. Even though it looks, feels, and acts like a pillow, it's better for everyone if you ignore it and pretend it's not there.
  1. If my wife says that "we" have to do something, then she means that "I" will be the one to do something.

  1. Never make being awesome look too easy. That gives other people false hope that they could be awesome too.


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